The word I chose from the list of nouns was slave.
Slaves should be kept in their right places. They ought to know what they should or should not do. Give them an inch and they'll claim a yard. I know how to keep my slaves! Well, its not an easy task. I can still recall my first encounter with them.
I am of royal lineage, my mother Elizabeth, is from the House of Merrys, and my father Bairav, though claiming to be blueblooded, has doubtful ancestry. I believe one of my ancestors must have had an affair with a commoner - the evidence is clear for all to see - both my father and I lack the typical aristocratic nose characteristic of pure nobility. Actually I am quite proud of that fact and it stands me in good stead with the slaves. He was an excellent hunter, with keen tracking instincts, hence he was accepted among the nobility. We were born in a principality in the south western part of the country. In the royal families we had the matriarchal system in place - my father after a brief romantic romp with mother went back to his own house. I've never met my father, all that I know about him is through gossip from the slaves. My mother's house was well provided for with slaves and the early part of my life was spent at mother's home with my 2 brothers and one sister. Most of the time was spent in the nursery, and we were never allowed to venture out. I was looking forward to the day when I could leave home and have a house of my own with my own slaves. This brings me back to the beginning of my tale - my first encounter with my slaves. My brother and I were the first to leave mama's house in search of our own houses.
My brother and I were staying at a house where slaves are presented for selection. It was about 10 in the night, a short man and his son were both presented to us. They looked like eager to please slaves and getting them would be a real dream. Though my brother was tempted very much, he allowed me to have my choice. I verified other details about my new house that came with the slaves and it was found to be satisfactory. I am not that particular about the house as long as the slaves there are good.
The next day, after all the money transactions were satisfactorily completed, I went to my new house. I had a bonus there - a female slave - the wife of the older slave. I did have an apprehension about going to a place where there were no women. The very first day I had to see to my sleeping chambers and food. Food was going to be a major problem, sometimes these slaves have no idea about what to cook up. There were all the niggling problems that one has when they move to a new place. "Well things ought to sort themselves out in a couple of days", I said to myself.
I'd had my breakfast, the father went out to arrange for food, the young one went to school (I was quite liberal and allowed these luxuries). At about 9 the mother also was getting ready to leave! I was shocked, in my place women never went out, was a house slave, and took exclusive care of us. But they said that it was in the contract and there was nothing that could be done about it. I was too tired and sleepy to argue, so I let it go and went off to sleep.
PS: The draft is far from polished, many sentences are badly constructed - I cant help criticising my work :)
PPS: 250 words each day seems a tall order for me, maybe I should keep it a more realistic 175-200 words/day.
HOMEWORK:
Set up your “Well of Lost Plots” with the seven dividers.
NOUNS – BEGINNINGS – MIDDLES – ENDS – PLOTS – NAMES – PICTURES
Writing: Pick one of your nouns and write about it.
2 comments:
You have an odd dichotomy happening. This is a very interesting piece but you need to inject an ounce humanity. If you accept the slaves, describe them more as people, not as their function. Pick out a slave you feel particularly connected and introduce them.
So far, this story has very little to do with the slaves and more about the family structure.
For clarity, pick a subject. If you want to tell the reader about slaves, then make them real to the reader. If you want to tell us about the family structure, elaborate more on this.
On the whole, this is a fantastic rough draft. If this is only a beginning, I can't wait to read the whole piece.
Do you know how to make an outline?
This is an excellent way to organize your thoughts.
http://depts.washington.edu/psywc/handouts/pdf/outline.pdf#search=%22how%20to%20make%20an%20outline%22
How I would outline what you have so far:
I. Introduction (introduce the narrator, give the reader a name and introduce the family)
A. About your father's nose
1. he is a hunter
2. Your mother (the brief romantic)
B.The matriarchal system
1. Brothers and sisters spending time in the nursery
2. Time to venture out, get your own house
C. Slave introduction
It is an excellent beginning. Organize your thoughts a little more. The characters are already interesting, their lives have such possibility and this is all in a scant few chapters. Definitely don’t give up on this idea.
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